Goodbye James

Once , there was a man named James who was hospitalized with a serious illness. So , one day , his family went to visit him at the hospital.
Once everyone had sat down , James suddenly started to frantically search for something to write on , so they handed him a piece of paper. He used all the last bits of his strength to write his last words and hand it to his father , then he died . His father thought that it wouldn't be right to open up the piece of paper yet . So he kept that piece of paper in his wallet .
At the funeral , his father took the piece of paper out of his wallet and said " These are the last words that James ever said , but I haven't looked at them yet , so I think this is the best time to read it .
He opened the note and read " Hey !!!!!! You're your sitting on my oxygen tube !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me. )

Puppies And Lies

Once , a man was walking towards his car when he saw a group of teenagers surrounding a little puppy on the sidewalk . So , the man asked them " What is going on ? " The Teenagers replied " No . We're having a contest . Whoever tells the biggest lie wins the dog . "
The man shockingly replied " How could you youngsters even think of doing such a thing . When I was a boy , I never even thought of doing such a thing .
The teenagers huddled together for a minute and then said to him " We all agree , you get the dog . "

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me. )

The Hike Down St. Anne's Hill

I love to nature walk , go hiking and I liked the scenery on St. Anne's Hill , I even saw a rare species of old-world lizard , the long-tailed lizard , but the mosquitos , including one or two AEDES MOSQUITOES kept coming at me.

Meeting With A Common Boa

This is a Common Boa (Boa Constrictor) of the family Boidae, Suborder Serpentes , Order Squamata. It can grow up 13 ft. It is found from Northwestern Mexico through Central America and into South America , as far as Argentina and also is found on St.Lucia and Dominica.

The Confused Monkey

One day , while a little boy was visiting a zoo , he noticed a monkey reading 2 books - The Holy Bible And Darwin's Origin Of The Species .
Surprised , he asked the monkey why he was reading those 2 books.
The monkey answered : " I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper of my keeper's brother."

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me.)

God's Watching

Children were lining up to buy some food at a christian school cafeteria. At the end of the table , there was a plate of apples. The cafeteria owner put a sign on the apple plate saying : "Take only 1 , God's watching."
A little boy read this sign. He took advantage of this and wrote a sign and placed it on the chicken plate.
It read : " Take all you want , God is watching the apples."

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me.)

The Historical Flight

A Sunday School Teacher asked her class to draw a picture of their favorite Bible stories. Elijah drew "David And Goliath" , Sarah drew "Noah's Ark" and Joshua drew "The 10 Plagues".
But the most puzzling of them all was Alex's drawing which showed 4 people on an areoplane. So the Sunday School Teacher asked him which Bible story is it.
Alex replied "Why it's the flight to Egypt.
"I see. That's Mary , Joseph and Baby Jesus . But who is that ? "
" Why that's Pontius -the Pilot!

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me.)

The Christian Horse

A pastor was visiting a missionary friend at his home . On his way out the back door , he saw a horse that belonged to the missionary . He decided to ask the missionary if he could borrow it and give it back when he reached town.
The misssionary said : "Sure , but there is something special about him. To make him go you have to say " Praise The Lord" and to make him stop you have to shout " Peace". Since the pastor was so excited , he did'nt pay much attention .
So he got on the horse and shouted "Praise The Lord!" and the horse started trotting . Then he shouted "Praise The Lord !" again and it started galopping . Then he shouted "Praise The Lord" again and the horse took off . After a while , he saw a cliff coming up and did everything he could think of to stop the horse. " Whoa ! Stop ! Stop ! Cease ! Hold On !"
Finally he remembered what to say and shouted "Peace!"
The horse stopped 3 feet away from the cliff . Then the pastor leaned back on the saddle and shouted "Praise The Lord!"

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me. )

The Smart Isrealite

Three men , a malaysian , an american and an isrealite were condemned to be exacuted. But before they died they were each given a last dinner request.

The malysian said : " Give me some Nasi Lemak and Milo." So they gave it to him . He finished it and then they exacuted him.

The american said : " Give me some french fries , ice cream and some a milkshake." So they gave it to him . He finished it and then they exacuted him.

The Isrealite said : " Give me some strawberries . "

" Strawberries! But they are not even in season!

" So I'll wait........ "

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me.)

Reciting Parrot

Three business men gathred together and discussed what gift did they get for their elderly mother. The first man said : " I bought a huge mansion for her. " The second man said : " I sent her a new car with a driver."The third said : " Do you remember how mom loves to read the Bible , but now she can't see very well . So I sent her an incredible parrot named Percy that can recite the entire Bible . It took the church elders 20 years just to teach him to do that . Mom'll just tell him the book , chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it." After a few days , their mother sent them a letter of thanks.
It read : " Daniel , the mansion you bought for me is so huge , and I live in only one room but have to clean the whole mansion every day. " " Ryan , the new car you sent me is great , but I rarely go anywhere , and that driver is so rude." " But Raymond , that chicken you sent me was delicous ! "

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me.)

Knighty-Night School

Where did medieval knights learn to fight?

In Knight School.

(Retrieved from "More Clean Jokes Fo Kids")

Bubble Gummy Friends

Teacher : If you have 10 pieces of bubble gum and you give away 4 , what do you have then?

Student : I have 6 pieces of gum and 4 new friends.

(Retrieved from "More Clean Jokes For Kids")

Farm Life Joke 1

Why should you never tell a secret in a cornfield?
Because the stalks have ears.

(Retrieved from "More Clean Jokes For Kids")

Ants

The ant : An industrious insect that works hardest at a picnic.

(Retrived from "More Clean Jokes For Kids")

My first blog...

My inspiration to blog comes from DREAMZ, my dad's blog.
This is my window to the world wide web.
I am looking forward to it.