Goodbye James

Once , there was a man named James who was hospitalized with a serious illness. So , one day , his family went to visit him at the hospital.
Once everyone had sat down , James suddenly started to frantically search for something to write on , so they handed him a piece of paper. He used all the last bits of his strength to write his last words and hand it to his father , then he died . His father thought that it wouldn't be right to open up the piece of paper yet . So he kept that piece of paper in his wallet .
At the funeral , his father took the piece of paper out of his wallet and said " These are the last words that James ever said , but I haven't looked at them yet , so I think this is the best time to read it .
He opened the note and read " Hey !!!!!! You're your sitting on my oxygen tube !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me. )

Puppies And Lies

Once , a man was walking towards his car when he saw a group of teenagers surrounding a little puppy on the sidewalk . So , the man asked them " What is going on ? " The Teenagers replied " No . We're having a contest . Whoever tells the biggest lie wins the dog . "
The man shockingly replied " How could you youngsters even think of doing such a thing . When I was a boy , I never even thought of doing such a thing .
The teenagers huddled together for a minute and then said to him " We all agree , you get the dog . "

( Edited from original work of Wilson Ng by me. )